anndrakesoulwork.com Blog

Blaming Oneself

When patients leave their doctors feeling misunderstood, uncared for and frustrated, they often blame themselves. Often clients tell me that their doctors could find nothing wrong with them so they struggle with the notion that they are making it up or it is really nothing and that they are exaggerating how badly they feel. They fear being labeled as a hypochondriac or being told that their illness is psychosomatic. Sometimes they stop taking their concerns to their doctor for fear of judgment. A psychosomatic illness is one in which emotional issue results in an illness emerging in the body. Some physicians treat illnesses that derive from emotional issues as matter-of-factly as one would a virus and truly do understand the mind-body connection. But other physicians and much of the general population view a psychosomatic illness as a weakness or a sign that one’s emotions are so out of control that they have made their body sick.

Many people that come to see me carry shame around the notion that their emotional pain may have resulted in a physical illness and view this as a personal failure. The shame and self-blame that some carry is a heavy burden that weighs down the body and the psyche and slows the healing process. Others profess that their illness is “real” and refuse to look at any underlying emotional issues that may be contributing to their body being out of balance also fearful that they will be judged. In many indigenous cultures there is a belief that all illness, be it expressed emotionally or physically can be traced to a loss of core essence and that this loss must be restored to return to full health. There is no judgment or shame regarding the pathway that one expresses this loss of core essence. The acceptance of the various aspects of our being – the emotional, energetic and physical – and the interplay among these levels can go a long way towards lifting us from the burden of self-blame and shame and towards ease in healing.

Misunderstanding Our Patients

There is a tendency among some health care professionals to believe that a patient is “making up symptoms” or is mentally unstable when the patient presents with a problem for which the doctor has no answer. If the tests for a particular ailment show no signs of disease, then the pain that the patient is feeling is exaggerated or simply made up for attention or pain medication. Most allopathic health care providers do not consider that there may be other ways of viewing a physical problem that is outside western scientific thought. Nor do they consider that the western medical paradigm has some blind spots that prevent them from seeing what is really going on. Whenever a patient arrives with a very thick file and a plethora of different problems and disorders, does the provider pause to ask what is the underlying cause of all of these illnesses or do they just treat the problem at hand?

If we accept that we have a physical body, a psyche or emotional body, and an energy body, then it is important to consider how these three bodies interact and impact one other. One of the reasons that we such high medical costs is that rarely do we consider how the emotional and physical bodies impacts our health and well being. Most hospitals have mind body programs, which acknowledge the impact that the mind has on our ability to heal, but they do not put the same focus on how unresolved emotional issues may cause the body to become ill nor how toxic energy is stored in the body. All too often allopathic health care does not probe all the necessary levels to determine the underlying reasons for chronic or serial illness. And all too often patients leave their doctors feeling misunderstood, uncared for, and frustrated.

^{# Other reasons that our health care costs are so high is that we have a for profit system that is controlled by the insurance and pharmaceutical companies and we have a system of re-imbursement that rewards tests and procedural over promoting health and well being.}

Healing and the Western Mind VI

Ancestral imprints are not monolithic in their nature. One can absorb differing and conflicting energies from various family members. Judy had absorbed both her mother’s passive, helpless energy and her father’s strong, assured and controlling energy. In certain aspects of her life, Judy could do and accomplish things in a manner that is impressive. Yet other times she felt totally in capable of accomplishing small every day task; sometimes the thought of going to the grocery story was overwhelming.

These conflicting imprints not only expressed themselves emotionally but also physically. On the one hand Judy had a strong healthy constitution, but would also be plagued by unusual conditions and physical problems that were not life threatening but left her in need of care and hospitalizations. These incidences most often occurred when she had begun to fully own her power and potential. These differing energetic imprints would war with one another and then create physical crisis within the body. Initially I approached this problem from a psychological perspective attempting both to build on her core inner strength while also understanding the part of her that believed she was weak and in need of being taken care of. One day in a shamanic journey I was told that part of the problem was the absorption of both of her parent’s very different energetic states and that these energies needed to be removed. This process involved helping Judy to see how she had absorbed not only the thoughts and beliefs of each parent but also their energy. It was not until her mind and heart could identify that these thoughts and feeling states were not her own was it possible to begin to remove the warring ancestral imprints that had resulted in much emotional and physical distress.

Healing and the Western Mind V

When one has a traumatic experience, we absorb not only the energy of the trauma but also the energy of the one who has hurt us. In Hannah’s case, the little girl absorbed the energy of her mother, who in a fit of rage and frustration, had strangled her into unconsciousness. The energy of frustration and rage was also part of Hannah’s field and were emotions and feelings for which she carried great shame. Because the attack occurred at a young age, this energy felt as if it were part of her. Hannah reported being surprised that from out of nowhere, she would feel intense anger. When we traced the triggers for these feelings, it seemed that they would arise when she was in a situation in which she felt out of control. Hannah grew to understand that her mother had likely attacked her when Hannah was being a normal kid who at that moment was rambunctious and disobedient. But rather than be upset with her mother for loosing control, she felt as if the anger and frustration that she sometimes feels was the reason that she was attacked instead of the result of being attacked.

In order to release the energy that we have absorbed or taken in from others, we must no longer identify with this energy. All of us carry what I call ancestral imprints. These imprints carry, for good or for ill, the energies of our families. It is important to identify what aspects of our energy are truly us and what energies we have absorbed or taken in from others. Hannah’s core essence is that of a calm peaceful person; thus the intrusion of intense feelings of rage and frustration were always puzzling to her. As Hannah came to realize this, it was possible for her to release the energy of anger and frustration that had slipped into her field as her mother strangled her. It is likely that her mother had absorbed this energy from her family as well. Often these patterns go back many generations. It is possible when healing the energy for one person to heal all of those who came before and all of those who will come after.

Healing and the Western Mind IV

Hannah is a bright and talented woman that suffers with chronic sore throats and anxiety when speaking. Her voice often cracks when she speaks in front of groups of people or when she tries to assert herself. When I first did energy work for Hannah, I found the energy of large hands around her throat, choking and strangling her as a small child. As I removed the layers of energy and did a healing for her 5^th chakra, I found a small child, curled up with her hands over her head trying to protect herself. She was reluctant to come out as she was afraid that she would be hurt or punished. Finally some of her guides and mine coaxed her out.

When we began to talk with this buried part, she revealed that it was her job to make sure that Hannah did not speak too much to protect her from punishment. We explained that Hannah was grown now and that no one would hurt her for talking, but this protective child part was frozen in time, believing that it was not safe to speak. The grown part of Hannah was strong and self assured, but felt held back by the fear that her voice would crack or she would start coughing whenever she went to say something important. In this healing we worked not only to remove and heal the energy of the hands that harmed little Hannah, but also did a healing for the part that believed it was necessary to keep Hannah safe by not allowing her to speak. Hannah had not remembered being strangled as this part had dissociated from the traumatic event. We found this part and did a healing for her as well. As Hannah processed what had happened to her and greeted the healed parts back into her heart and being, her voice became stronger. There was less coughing and voice cracking. Hannah felt freer to speak what was truly in her heart and mind. The trauma of being strangled had remained deeply embedded in Hannah’s psyche and energy field and caused both health problems as well as restriction in her full expression. This ancient healing technique worked on the soul level to bring healing to a life long problem.

A major reason that the mind and energy body collude to keep painful childhood experiences stuck in the body is that as children we are not emotionally or developmentally equipped to handle traumatic, shameful and painful experiences. Thus a part of the young child dissociates from the conscious mind and stays frozen at the trauma, which is actually an adaptive response. Often a protective part or defense mechanism forms to keep the memory of the experience buried as at the time of the trauma as the child is not equipped to process the experience. When we reach adulthood and have a formed ego structure as well as accessibility to a variety of external supports, we are capable of handling the old trauma. However, the protective part, the child part and the body do not understand that they are safe as they are still at the scene of the trauma and to these parts the experience is alive and happening.

In the earlier years of my career as a psychotherapist when I primarily practiced talk therapy with trauma survivors, I found it challenging to convince the traumatized parts of my clients that they were safe and that the trauma was over. But once I integrated shamanic work into my practice, the healing process was greatly facilitated. If we view the traumatized parts as energy frequencies that are stored within our energy field then it is possible to understand how these parts can be healed energetically. By working in partnership with spirit guides, it is possible to find the traumatized parts or energy vibrations and their protectors, do a healing for them and then bring these healed parts back into the core system of the person. It is also possible to do this for a child at the time of the trauma, and this is common practice in cultures that still use shamanism as part of their healing system. In following blogs, I will share vivid examples of how this works so as to make it easier to philosophically embrace the ancient practice of soul retrieval and come to see how it can speed and greaten the healing process in western cultures.

Healing and the Western Mind II

Life would be easy if we could just tell ourselves to ignore the many thoughts and beliefs that race through our minds. For example, if you grew up believing that you were not that bright – despite evidence to the contrary – because you were teased by older siblings for “being stupid”, it seems that it should be easy to correct this misperception. Of course you did not know as much as your older siblings when you were a kid and we all know that kids will tease each other so there is no need to hold onto this belief. Yet, childhood beliefs linger and can profoundly impact how we think of ourselves. A key reason that this happens is that the energy of the shame, hurt and sense of inadequacy that we felt while being teased is still in our field and is held in place by the belief like a spike holding a tent in place. Before I do extraction work to release these painful feelings, I ask the client to concentrate on releasing the thought form that holds the energy in place.

There is an interplay that flows back and forth between the energy of the painful experience that is held in the field by the belief and the energy that holds onto the belief like sticky glue. Even when a person understands all of the issues and reasons as to why one feels and believes a certain way, it is often challenging to let go of the feelings and beliefs because of the energetic underpinnings. As a society that prides itself on being rational, holding onto irrational beliefs and feelings is frowned upon and is viewed by some in the health care system as pathological. Thus many hide these feelings, which in turn go underground and often emerge as physical ailments. After many invasive tests, often these ailments have no known etiology and the patient is left feeling that they are just making it up and the pain that is felt is not real. By understanding the energetic aspect of our being, we can let go of many of the things that are making us ill without carrying the shame and judgment that furthers the problem.

Healing and the Western Mind

As westerners we are trained to think in a rational, linear and dualistic manner. If something cannot be proven scientifically, it does not exist. Many view the existence of other realms of reality and interconnecting energy bodies as primitive thinking that exists in societies that are not as evolved as our own. Currently we experience a giant disconnect within our culture. Intellectually we adhere to rational scientific thought, yet our most popular television shows and movies deal with magic, the supernatural and other realms of reality. The popularity of Harry Potter and Avatar speaks to our longing for and identification with realms that are larger than the materially defined reality in which our minds and souls are supposed to be contained.

When we have a health crisis, many of us rush to our doctors for tests to unearth what is wrong while also consulting with alternative practitioners. We are left to bridge the information that we receive from these two worlds and often have to choose which path to follow in order to heal. As western medicine becomes more specialized, we are left to wonder the long term effects of one type of procedure or medication for one problem on the other parts of our body. As we are sent from one specialist to the next and are subjected to many tests, procedures and medications, it seems almost impossible for any given doctor to hold the whole gestalt of our overall health. Our health care system has both a financial crisis and one in which our linear approach to healing erects blinders that prevent us from seeing the various levels that comprise our health and well being. In the following blogs, I will explore this issue as well as the ways in which our beliefs impact our bodies ability to heal and be healthy. It is possible to meld the technological advances of allopathic medicine with the wisdom of healing practices from ages past if we allow our minds and hearts to hold both the rational and the intuitive aspect of our being.

Working

with Chronic and Life Threatening Illness: Part IX

The seventh chakra, also known as the crown chakra is the avenue through which our soul enters the body and through which we exit the physical plane. It is through this chakra that we may draw in divine healing energy and with our mind send this energy to any area of the body that is in need of healing. As a culture, we have become dependent on our doctors and nurses to heal us and often do not realize that there is an unlimited amount of healing energy available to all of us to enhance our healers’ work. Slowly an awareness of our ability to participate in our own healing is growing. Many behavioral medicine departments teach patients such techniques as creative visualization. For example, a cancer patient is taught to visualize healthy cells in place of cancerous ones. However, by focusing divine healing energy to the cancerous cells, one can speed the process of healing and transformation.

There are many ancient healing practices that can aid in bringing the body in balance and well being. Practices such as yoga, Tai Chi and Chi Gong facilitate the flow of energy throughout the body so that negative energy does not get stuck in the body. These ancient practices work with the core energy channel in the center of the body through which divine healing energy can flow in through the crown chakra and expand throughout the body and energy field. Many of our chronic health problems stay frozen within the body as a result of energy from trauma or absorbed negative emotional states of others that are stuck within the energy field of the body. Many of these chronic conditions are difficult to both understand and treat within the allopathic paradigm and are a huge drain on the current health care system. The body is amazing in its ability to carry the energy of painful experience and hold what the conscious mind cannot. When we turn to ancient wisdom to facilitate the breakthroughs of modern western medicine, amazing things can happen.

Working

with Chronic and Life Threatening Illness: Part VIII

The sixth chakra is known as the third eye; it is located on the bridge between the eyes. It is the window into our intuitive self and inner wisdom as well as other realms of reality and, in Jungian terms, the collective unconscious. The sixth chakra is underdeveloped in most western cultures and is the source of great knowledge in others. When I first began village life as a Peace Corps volunteer, I was amazed at what the people around me could see, sense and know. By western standards they were considered “primitive”, yet their ability to see on many levels was highly developed. Many in western cultures experience blockage in the sixth chakra, which can manifest as headaches. There is a tension that arises when we resist or push down that which we know intuitively. Often when someone comes to see me with a headache, I will take a crystal or use my finger in a clockwise direction to open the third eye. Within in moments the headache is usually gone. Conversely, when the sixth chakra is too open and the person has not been trained as to how to work with the rush of information that is available, they can appear ungrounded or psychotic, and even, in some instances, become psychotic. When I am with someone in this state, I often move my finger in a counter clockwise direction to close the flow of energy down a bit.

Sleep difficulties are often associated with the sixth chakra. When we try to block intuitive information that is attempting to emerge, it is challenging to fall asleep as once we are asleep this information may flow into the dream state. Unconsciously we keep ourselves awake or wake ourselves up once we are asleep, so as not to learn what we need to know but are afraid of. Conversely when the third eye is wide open it is difficult to sleep. When I travel to foreign and exotic places, I often have difficulty sleeping as my senses are overloaded with new sights, smells, and energies. It is as if the third eye is wide open to download all of this new information so it may be processed at a later time.